剛剛看到今天早上(3/13/2014星期四)永強在Line 上的family group寫給大兒子的Line，才知永強的心情，他在我面前都表現那麼剛強，眼淚不禁流下。他用英文寫的大致如下，提到醫生說我堅持照正子掃瞄這件事，使他癌症不致更惡化，再來提到他要做化療和放療的療程及什麼時候做，和會有很大副作用，食道會吞嚥困難。他説現在才覺得能正常吞嚥是多麼幸福。他告訴兒子，想起他二歲的時候，看到害怕的東西，就會説怕怕，躲到我們懷中，我們緊緊擁抱他，他是那麼可愛。現在永強覺得他自己就像當時兩歳的兒子一様，很害怕，想逃避這個治療，他説一聽到醫生說治療過程，當時就很害怕，過了24小時了，仍然很害怕。一定要接受治療，只能用聖經經節安慰自己，羅馬書8：26-28，及腓立比書4：4-7。他告訴兒子他已經長大成熟，應該可以承擔這件事，所以和他分享，永強説我們都不知道這件事為何發生，但他自己還好，要兒子堅強，告訴兒子，經過此事，兒子的信心會增加和變成更堅強的人。兒子告訴永強，他比任何時候更愛爸爸。因為要考物理期中考，考完試會儘快和爸爸聯絡，到此時，大兒子還沒有回音，永強很期待和兒子談話，不知如何說我看到這line的心情，要去好好擁抱永強。
永強3/13/2014 在Line上family
group寫給大兒子Reuben 要做化療及放射線治療的心情：
went to see my oncologist yesterday，the same doctor looking after mommy last 4 years。He commanded we all should give mom the credit for her hunch to
insist to get to the bottom of my PET scan shadows。 i would be
still be sitting idle and let the cancer rapidly grow inside me if it weren’t
for mom。then we get down to the treatment plan。signs from biopsy show cancer cells enter into my lympho and blood
system， hence an aggressive approach is concocted，both chemo (12 weeks) and radiation (6 weeks) at the same time frame
to stem out the cancer cells。the downside
is my body has to endure the pounding，likening a
heavy bombardment to scourge every inch of the earth to wipe out ones enemy in
the war zone。
I am cautioned that my esophagus may
be hurted by radiation that will affect my swallowing even my own saliva，let alone getting food down through my food duct。Scare is my initial reaction and still it is 24 hrs after hearing
the doctor。It reminds me of you，Reuben when
you were barely two。When something frightened
you，you would throw yourself into our embrace and cried，"scary, scary" in your utterly cute way to enchant us。To respond，we would hold
you tight and comfort you of our presence to shield you from the fear。Now I am bit like that little frightened baby boy of you almost 20
years ago。Wanting run away from the treatment。Now I come to appreciate how much we take swallowing for granted。Swallow few gulps if you can，Reuben and you should salivate on it，How wonderful one can swallow crying aside， one needs to press on if fighting off cancer is my goal。Which reminds me certain Bible verses。
In the same way，the Spirit helps us in our weakness。We do not know what we ought to pray for，but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans。And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit，because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with
the will of God。And we know that in all
things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according
to his purpose。- Romans 8:26-28
Rejoice in the Lord always。I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all。The Lord is near。Do not be
anxious about anything，but in every
situation，by prayer and petition。with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God。And the peace
of God， which transcends all understanding，will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus。- Philippians 4:4-7
Reuben，I take you are mature enough to handle this so that I share this
with you。We all do not know why all these happen，but it is well with me，it is well
with me。
Be strong my boy，Your faith will grow and you become a stronger person through this。
Reuben answered:
Love you more than ever, dad。My Physics exam is close，so I'll get back to you as soon as I can。
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