Lavender Cottage 薰衣草森林

I was not sure what hit her brain today when I asked if she would go out with me just for my sake and she obliged without an ounce of hesitation.

不知甚麼緣故她突然想通了，當筆者以“陪我出門走走”為藉口邀她時，竟然得到她爽快地回應。

Anyway, we packed and hustled out the door in less than 10 min. lest she changed her mind.

唯恐她改變注意，三下兩下收拾了東西，不到十分鐘地時間我們便出了門。

A less than 30 km drive, off we went and climbed.
三十公里不到的路程，先是平路，不久就爬坡上山。

Lavender Cottage  www.lavendercottage.com.tw A beautifully manicured courtyard on a sloppy incline nestled up at the mid level of the mountain ridges. Upon entering the place, one was met with variety of plants dotted with flowers of many colors neatly lined up on the path. And the air was filled with flowing fragrance of lavender. Green was everywhere, near and afar. Fresh breeze and mountain mist made one’s mind tingling awakening and sensory crispy clean. The whole place was sprinkled with purple.

這地方叫“薰衣草森林”，藏在半山腰中，躺在一片斜坡上，一個坐落有次的精緻小花園。踏入園中，開滿各式花朵的盆景沿路整齊地擺放著，空氣裡飄著薰衣草的芬芳，遠山近地草木蔥茸。清爽的微風和山嵐叫人耳目一新，為之興奮，紫色的花和物點綴了四周。

That must pumped up not just mine, but also, most of all, Eileen’s dopamine in her brain. Like Alice in the Wonderland, she trod through all parts of the garden high and low. That was quite an exercise equating ascending and descending our five story townhome few times, more to this, on much steep staircases in many of its wooded paths.

不止本人，藹玲更有其事，一陣一陣的愉悅感讓人有點飄了起來。她像是掉進仙境的愛麗斯，上上下下地踏遍園子的每個角落。算一算幾乎是家裡五層樓梯幾上幾下，又條林道的坡度遠比家中的陡。

This excursion cost about $15 per head including a sit-down lunch. Sitting on top of the property, its center piece was a three level Scottish cottage like building. Its white walls accentuated by dark brown trims and big window panels on all sides made its façade rather modern looking without a trace of ostentation. The building simply blended in well with its surroundings. Sitting on the top level where the floor was spacious and mountain and garden view were from different directions, we enjoyed our meals immensely. That was worth the trip!

門票加午餐花了千百來塊錢。一座三層樓高，看似蘇格蘭洋房的建築坐落在坡頂，其乃園子的中心。白牆黑邊，面面被玻璃窗包裹的外表透著現代氣息，與周圍的環境融為一體，不俗卻雅致。坐在頂層寬敞的樓面享用午餐 ，遠山近園的景致四面八方目不暇給，實在令人陶醉，值回標價。

On the way home, reflecting on the experience I probed her on why her jumping on my invitation of this field trip so ready. Readily she gave me the answer. The couple hundreds yard “long” walk to visit Daphne’s dad who was stricken with leukemia, after finishing up our own visit with Dr. Chiu at Taipei Veterans General Hospital the other day made her walking out of her own valley of the shadow of death.

回家途中，筆者不禁好奇地追問女主角今天刮的甚麼風讓她如此爽快赴約。她三言兩語高興地回答說，是前天在榮總看完邱昭華大夫的門診後‘長途跋涉’前往探視倩芬師母患白血病的老父親後讓她走出自己的死蔭幽谷。

As a matter of the fact, She realized that she was fit to walk long and didn’t collapse as she was anxiously anticipating. She had carried on a stigma, “I-am-too-sick-to-have-a-long-walk” since last surgery. She wasn't gasping for air after all, by which she was emboldened and relieved.

自肺切除手術後，她一直活在“自己元氣大傷無法長距離行動“的恐懼中，事實上那趟路程並沒有像自己耽心的攤在半路上，一路走下來上氣和下氣接得好好地，叫她如釋重負又壯了膽。

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28a)

“我們曉得萬事互相效力，叫愛神的人得益處”羅馬書八：二十八上

An emphatic amen. Another day this is!

阿門！這一天還真不賴。

She Is Doing Good 她又活過來了

Recently, the boys told us what happened in their school. One evening the school cafeteria was about to close while Reuben and Chuck were still finishing up their dinner there, back when Eileen was not doing too well. The woman who ran the cafeteria struck up a conversation with them. When she found out why they lingered at her cafeteria late was because their dad was out of town working while their mom was rehabilitating from cancer. She took pity on them, gave them free food and did this again and again.

最近兩個孩子告訴我們在學校發生的事。那是不久前藹玲的身體還在折騰的日子，兩兄弟晚餐時到學校的餐廳覓食，就要打烊了，餐廳的老闆娘過來跟他們搭訕，了解到家裡的狀況時，心生同情，此後常常給兩兄弟加餐。

Bless her heart for her kindness. This family encounters all sorts of kindnesses. Daily, one is reminded to count his blessings when misfortune strikes.

實在是謝謝她的好心腸。這些日子每每得人恩惠，在逆境時人當常常數算神的恩典。

Well, October brings relief about temperature and humidity. We can finally turn off the air conditioning and gone is the repressive summer heat.

中秋過後，天氣漸涼。總算可以關掉冷氣，告別了悶熱的夏天。

No news is good news. We went to see Dr. Chiu today and there is nothing alarming about her lung CT scan result. All seem normal.

目前藹玲的狀況無恙。昨天去見了邱昭華大夫（胸腔內科），藹玲兩週前照的胸腔電腦斷層掃描結果正常，可以安心。

Eileen, we will stop calling her “patient” from now on, is more of herself now. She regains her appetite. She complains often about how the food tastes dry now. “They don’t taste as good.” I hear this again and again. But don’t be fooled by this casual comment of her. She still finishes a large portion of a plate of deep fried lotus root slice minced with ground pork while salivating the food and mumbling, “Oh, they don’t taste as good!” at the same time. Go figure.

藹玲恢復得不錯，從現在開始可以不用叫她“病人”了。她的胃口也回來了，“這東西吃起來沒有以前的味道。”成了她的口頭禪，常常抱怨食物在口中顯得乾乾的。不過也不必對她的抱怨太過認真，上星期一盤“炸蓮藕夾肉”超過一半是她清掉的，還一邊不時大塊剁姬，一邊對筆者一本正經的說，“喔，這不如過去好吃。”儼然一幅食饕的口氣，叫人不知信她那樣才好。

The other day, Michael bought home few Italian dishes - pizzas, salad, chicken penne and dessert. One should see her putting on this jolly grin, following the boys to the dinning room, and munching on all food except Tiramisu while Michael kept on reminding the boys to let mommy have her pick as if she was the baby of us all. To tell the truth, the boys were little taken aback. Chuck for one in particular, when was the last time he ceased the privilege being the baby of this household, now he had to share his favorite dish – chicken penne with Mommy and the worst was Mommy kept on asking for more and more of his favorite chicken penne.

週末，筆者外買了一堆義大利食物，比薩，沙拉，通心粉炒雞丁，甜點。真正認識我們的人可以想像她一副因食物興奮的神情，跟著筆者和孩子圍上餐桌，除了甜點，每樣東西都不錯過。為此，筆者需要不時地提醒兩個孩子，讓媽媽挑她喜歡的食物。媽媽成了家中的老么，老實說， 兩個孩子多少有些錯厄，老二尤其。從來都是媽媽讓他，叫他把自己那份通心粉炒雞丁讓出來分給大家，真有點心不甘情不願，最叫他受不了的是媽媽還沒完沒了向他討通心粉炒雞丁。

Everybody learned to share at the dinner table that night and the meal could not taste better. As for Eileen, the food makes her whole and my dear wife is back to herself again, almost.

那一餐大家都吃得好開心，因為爭食搶吃，食物顯得格外美味。至於藹玲，食物讓她對生活充滿期待，我的妻子又恢復了生氣。

Honestly speaking, if it wasn’t her strong body build up over the course of these many years, she won’t bounce back as robust as today. For what she may come short on her form and shape, much is made up in her physical strength.  Hence my advise to people so obsessed about the appearance, think it twice before one sheds her or his extra pounds. This weight may come in handy in other time.

老實說，若不是她日積月累的好體質，換成另外一個人也不知需要多久才可以把她的身子調理回來。她的身材也許不夠苗條，體質卻不輸人。所以大家也不必刻意減肥，為那幾磅贅肉過於煩惱，說不定哪天還要靠它渡過難關呢。

Food aside, she starts to involve in boys’ school works. From time to time, one hears her raising up her voice like all overbearing Chinese parents when tutoring Chuck.

食物除外，她已開始介入孩子的功課，像所有過於操心子女的中國人家長，我們家中不時又可以聽到三娘教子時高兩個八度的嗓門。

There was a time she had this creepy numbness sensation running from her left fingers through the whole length of her arm up to her left shoulder. Doctors can’t figure out why and she has to live with it for the time being. Good thing about this numbness is it doesn’t happen too often. Last time was in July. This however is a stern reminder that we’re fine but nevertheless, not out of the woods yet.

最近，一陣痲痹的感覺從左手五個指尖開始，一直穿過手臂傳送到左肩，約有十五分之久，大夫們也說不出個所以然，一時還真沒轍。好在這種事情不常發生，上一次是七月的事。不管怎麼說，這事情提醒我們大難似乎過去，卻仍不可大意。

Until then, Shalom! Our beloved friends and families.

報告到此，祝各位至愛親朋平安！

On the Right Path 一天天好起來

Our patient is getting better everyday. She has been bathing herself last two weeks. She starts to run small chores herself, like paying bills and even writes one or two emails, very limited though. Lately, she even writes a shopping list while Michael goes shopping at local fresh market. She then gives instructions to Juanny, our helper to cook for the boys.
病人一天天好起來, 過去兩週來她每天自己沐浴，開始處理簡單事物，如付賬單，偶爾也能寫一兩封電郵。最近還列個菜單，讓筆者到菜市場提籃小買，她再教華妮煮給兩個孩子。


She took her 1st post surgery lung CT scan Wed. (Sept. 16) and we should be notified by Dr. Chiu's office soon should there be any abnormality or we won't see him until early Oct.
週三到醫院照了胸部的 CT Scan，這是術後第一次。邱大夫告訴我們若是結果有異常，他會第一時間通知我們，否則下次回診要到十月初了。


Wanting to get back to her normal life soon cause' the drug does give her certain headache, she tells Dr. Chiu that she intends to take Irressa for 4 months, not 6 months or a year. Dr. Chiu is fine with that, which means she will stop Iressa in Mid November.
標靶藥似乎會引起頭痛，從四月到現在折騰了五個月，她期待能回復正常生活。當邱大夫跟她商量服藥療程時，即不需一年，半年也太久，她毫不猶豫地說四個月就夠了，邱大夫並無異議。這樣一來我們到十一月中就會停藥了。


Thank you all who continue to follow her status and remember us in ones praying vigil. 
謝謝大家一直沒有間斷的關心和代禱。

Good progress 近來不錯

Our helper got sick this week and she took some days off to see doctor and rest. Michael was pulling his hair when first hearing this request. Well, today is second day she is not with us and we're hopeful she will be back comes tomorrow, cause Michael needs fly to Hong Kong Monday.
我們的幫佣華妮上週末從彰化回來，結果感冒了，昨天請假回家，看醫生，順便休息。永強一開始的反應是擔心家裡會亂成一團糟，今天是第二天，希望她明天週日可以病愈返回，否則永強週一一早沒法去香港上班。

Well, in all things God works for the good of those who love him, the silver lining is that we're learning to be more independent of ourselves. Eileen for one has taken up bathing herself while trying to keep a distance from our helper, hence the germs.

神叫萬事互相效力，叫愛神的人得益處。華妮這一生病，為免傳染而保持距離，反而讓藹玲學習獨立起來，她可以洗澡自理了。

All in all, Michael is amazed to discover how much a progress Eileen has been made so far. She starts to crave for food she used to indulge and asks for bites from our plates even though she won't be able to munching with hearty appetite like she used to. The stomach pill does the wonder while she no longer complains about tummy upset. Ensure mixed with grind oats power remains her staple diet. We don't hear her coughing any more. One should see how we used to carry a plastic basin, a container to collect her used tissue papers, with us to the bedroom to rest for the night. That basin was part of her peripheral where ever she went. This has become a past tense. That is a great feat to anyone who has been her caregiver of last few months. She has been in good spirit most of the time and hardly complains about the predicament being home bound for so long. After all, she is quite a nerdy person. If it were to an outgoing one like Michael, he for sure would go berserk should he being confined indoor for this long.
這一陣子下來，不留意間藹玲已有了長足的進步。她又漸漸恢復了過往貪吃的樣子，向我們討盤中的食物，雖然暫時還無法如過去那樣大口海量。看來胃藥果然有效，沒有聽到胃不適時的呻吟。每天還是“安素”拌燕麥奶粉為主食。咳嗽也沒了。過去一段日子形影不離用來嘔吐，盛擦唾液紙巾的塑膠盤子，也改做泡腳的用途。想到過去幾個月的折騰，目前的景況實在叫人欣慰。她心情看來不錯，也不因為長時間關在家裡，顯得按耐不住。她的個性本來就有些“宅”。換作是筆者，早就發瘋了。

New school year starts this week and she is able to see the boys leaving in the morning couple of times. Maternal instinct urges her to come in. 
本週孩子們開始了新學年，作為母親的她，好幾次早上爬起來，嘮嘮叨叨地送孩子出門。她在努力回復扮演媽媽的角色。

Well, we're not out of the woods yet. This Irressa does bring some minor inconveniences. Her skin is getting rough, think about sandpaper and rashes or acnes are all over her body. Scratching her back becomes Michael's routine whenever he is at home. Need to get her a stick with hand shape extension to relief her itches herself when Michael is not around.
只是革命尚未成功，同志還需努力。標靶藥也有它惱人之處。服藥後皮膚很粗糙，全身發疹子，前胸後背養得不得了。祇要永強在身邊，就不斷地要求給她抓背撓癢。看來得給她根抓癢的棍子以備筆者不在之需。

Until then, so long, family and friends, we're truly grateful of your pray vigilance and loving care.
安了，至愛親朋們。謝謝大家不住的代禱和關愛。

Iressa, Iressa 愛蕊莎，愛蕊莎

Two weeks break has come to the end today. It was good and our patient enjoyed it immensely in a form of couch potato. She ate small portion of everything, mostly Ensure though. Coughing is almost gone and no throw-up or diarrhea.

兩週停藥的好日子今天要結束嘍，我們的病人躺在沙發上足足享受了兩週。除了每日“安素”為主，其他食物她也能略略嘗一嘗。咳嗽已漸漸好了，不吐也不拉。

Well, doctor prescribes few stomach medicines to go with Iressa. We're hopeful she won't have the same havoc of last time.

這一次，邱大夫開了兩種胃藥，希望可以避免上次那樣翻天覆地的折騰。

When we met with Dr. Chiu (邱), he even suggested we stop Iressa at all since it gave her such a havoc. According to him, maybe it's not worth the trouble since she underwent two major surgeries and radiation treatment of the brain, and most of all, doctors could not find signs of tumor inside her body with naked eyes for the time being. What a character, Dr. Chiu! He threw the ball at our court instead. Well, now it's our decision rather not the suggestion out his professional insight that we decide to press on to give this Iressa another shot. See how Eileen's body bears it this time.

週三見邱大夫時，他“老人家”甚至還建議我們乾脆把藥停掉算了。按他的說法，藹玲動了兩次大手術加上放射治療，一時間肉眼也找不到癌細胞的蹤影。好個邱大夫，真有你種，居然把球丟給我們！現在反而變成是我們的決定要繼續試藥。接下來就看病人的身體是否接得了招嘍。

She remains a couch potato and won't budge and go out with me to the nearby mountain area smelling the mountain mist and breathing its air.

我們的沙發美人仍然不肯接受邀請前往山上嗅嗅山嵐，呼吸山裡的新鮮空氣。

We'll Take Two Weeks Break 停藥兩週

Dr. Chiu agrees that we stop Iressa for two weeks if it upsets her digestive system so much. She takes X-ray and the image shows her pleural effusion, fluid in her lung cavity is pretty much gone while the lung expands to full up the pocket.
既然五臟六肺都攪得一塌糊塗，胸腔內科的邱大夫也同意停藥兩週。病人照了X光，影像顯示胸腔積水基本已排除，肺葉也擴充開了。


Once out of the hospital, she is a changed person. She eats porridge, even sips tapioca tea from Michael's cup on the way home. She determines to live for the moment and casts her weariness to the wind for the time being.
出了醫院就換了個人樣。回家路上，經過娘家時喝了路邊攤販賣的粥，還吸上幾口珍珠奶茶。暫時忘掉服藥的痛苦，先輕鬆一陣子再說。

She Losts about 10 lbs. within Two Weeks 兩週下來掉了近十磅

We decide to stop the medicine starting Sat. and she has lost about 10 lbs. or 4.5 kg. within a week or two. She would be thrilled to shed this much fat in other time, but it raises concern now. Vomit and diarrhea are getting worse, the former in particular. Rash and fungus infection are minor issues.
週六起我們決定暫時停藥，這一兩週下來她已掉了近四五公斤。若是往常這會是求之不得的好事情，現在的狀況則令人擔心。上吐下瀉一直沒停過，似乎越發嚴重，前者尤其。身上的疹子和真菌感染反而顯得其次了。


The patient is getting weak and her diet is about Ensure mixed with oats milk power only.
病人彌弱，每天只吃“安素”混燕麥植物奶粉的流質。


We're going to see doctor tomorrow (Monday)
我們明天要去看醫生。

July 28th

Today, another visit with Dr. Chiu (邱紹華). Everything seems to be fine except the coughing. It just won't go away. Even though she doesn't cough as much and the tissue wiper consumption is evidently slowing down now whereas just few weeks ago, she used up a whole carton of those fine non-woven tissue easily in a short week. And the bad thing is she has this "ritual" of throwing up everything and less than violent coughing before going to bed every night lately. Dr. Chiu prescribes cough medicine and hope this will take care of it.

We are sent to a dermatologist to check out her feet and hands where fungus infection is evident. Given her current condition, she is susceptible to infection and given lotion and ointment to take care of her skin problem.

She has shed about 10 kgs since coming home. Her hearty appetite slips out of her. At patient's request, we bought a can of protein rich "Ensure" in powder form to fortify her nutrition otherwise she eats rice porridge with minced meat only.

She gets tired easily and her spirit is low. Not in the mood to go out breathing fresh air as of now. She complains I hardly spend time with her...

An Afterthought, Can You Drink the Cup That I Am Going to Drink 事後的聯想

"...Should I not to drink the cup the Father has given me?" John 18:11b
“我父所給我的那杯，我豈可不喝呢？"約十八章十一節


This is the verse of the day from "Streams in the Desert" when I read Eileen while waiting her MRI report from Dr. Hsu Monday morning. My heart skipped, "Wouldn't it be...?" I told her what I thought but stopped there short without saying much. She met my query with silence.
七月十九日（星期一）早晨，在等待許大夫告知核磁共振報告的同時，我與藹玲一起讀“荒漠甘泉”，這是當天的經文。我的心咯噔一下，脫口而出“莫非這是..？” 藹玲轉過頭去，用沈默制止我繼續往下提。


Monday passed in waiting. We even called Dr. Hsu's office, left a message around 6:30 PM and were told he is in the surgery room.
這一天就在等待裡渡過了。傍晚六點半，我們打到許大夫的辦公室，被告知他還在手術室。


I flew to Hong Kong resuming my work next day and nothing happened until about the same time at 6:30 PM, our anxious patient called and asked if I got a call from Dr. Hsu. My day flew by when one buried himself in his work while Eileen waited and waited the whole day. I tried to comfort her by saying Dr. Hsu must be in the surgery room and has have time to call us.
隔天一大早，我飛到香港回公司上班。當一個人埋在事情裡面時，時間在不知不覺中過去了。傍晚六點半，坐立不安了一天的病人忍不住打電話問我是否接到許大夫的電話。我試著安慰她說也許醫生還在手術中，沒有空處理我們的事。


Just about the time, I've done my meeting in Shenzhen and was on my way to cross boarder getting back to Hong Kong, I picked up a familiar voice spoken from my cell phone, it was Dr. Hsu.
在深圳開完會正要過關返港時，手機的另一端傳來了許大夫熟悉的聲音。


"Please, ple-e-e-ease! Dr. Hsu tell me the result, good or bad, please!" I was begging him in my mind and in his characteristic soft and slow speaking tone, Dr. Hsu went "Her RMI image shows there remain scar tissue on the surgical wound about where the tumor was removed. (What does this mean, how bad is the scar tissue, Dr. Hsu? I held my breath and listen on.)
出於急迫，我在心裡不住地催促著他，“是好是壞，拜託，拜託你，快把結果告訴我吧！” 許大夫用他那溫和的聲音慢慢地開講了，“核磁共振影像顯示腦瘤移除的傷口開始結疤。（結疤是好還是壞呢，許大夫？我耐著性子聽下去。）”


"There is no other place that shows sign of alarm."
“大腦其他部位並未發現異常。”


"Would the scar issue have impact about her motor function from here on and how big is the cavity?" I pressed on.
“傷口的疤對於她肢體運動往後會有影響嗎？傷口的空洞有多大？”我追問道。



He answered, "The scare tissue is expected and will stay with her for a long time. It should not have postmortem adverse effect. The cavity left from her surgical wound is rather small when the brain tissue fills up the space after the tumor removal. One should be alarmed only when her four limbs go limping while intermittent numbness should not be too much a concern."
他緩緩地答道，“ 傷口結疤是正常的，而且這個疤可能會一輩子留在那裡，但不會影響她的運動神經。傷口的空洞很小，大部分都被腦組織填上了。間歇性手腳的麻痺應該不會是大問題，若是四肢無力就要格外注意了。”



"Let's keep monitor her progress and check her up in another three months." he continued. 
“繼續觀察她的進展，三個月後再進行一次檢查，”他補充道。


I took it this is a good sign or so far so good and very relieved. I then called our patient-desperate-in-waiting and retold her my conversation with Dr. Hsu. At the end, I asked her to prepare to get up early in the morning, I mean very early when I will bring her out to the wooded park in our area. Her voice came back lively.
這麼聽來是不錯的結果，起碼目前為止是這樣的，我心裡的石頭掉了下來。於是立刻致電給那位等得快要憔悴了的病人，然後一五一十地把我和許大夫的對話轉述給她。末了，我提醒病人每天早早休息，待我回家時，再一大早帶她到林子裡走走，呼吸新鮮空氣。她此時的聲音又活了過來。



It dawned on me the whole way back through Hong Kong riding on a bus, and I turned and tossed in the middle of the night last night until early in the morning that we're simply too feeble a vessel to make into a noble article of His desire and He cuts us some slack with an easier path. How would we handle the situation if the outcome was otherwise when a verse popped up in my mind afresh, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13
坐在公車返港的一路上，甚至回到家裡睡在床上，半夜裡朦朦朧朧直到天明，我長時間不自主地返想，我們實在是很卑微的器皿，以至於神給我們一條出路。若是另外的結果我們又會如何面對，腦子裡就有一段經節跑了出來，“你們所遇見的試探，無非是人所能受的。神是信實的，必不叫你們受試探過於所能受的；在受試探的時候，總要給你們開一條出路，叫你們能忍受得住。”林前十章十三節


We just turned yet another page of our ordeal. What unfolds next we don't know, but are reminded to walk daily with Him.
我們在這件事上又走了一步，下一回如何沒人知道，卻有聲音提醒道要常常來親近神。  

She Is Fine 病人目前還好

Dear All Those Caring Families and Friend

關心我們的親友們

Hospital visit - We left home right after 6:00 early in the morning and didn't make it home after 9:30 PM yesterday. Long day it was and our patient broke in pieces on the way back inside the car, guess the patience's physical strength was way stretched over. Let me not to go there, you don't want to hear the graphic details.

昨天來回醫院花了超過十二個小時的時辰，回家路上病人終於撐不住了，連咳帶吐折騰了一路。

The lesson learned is that we won't see more than one doctor in one visit next time, otherwise the toll of waiting in between on the hard bench was too much for our frail patient not to mention one needs to endure the merciless sweltering heat of Summer day.

幾次下來學了個教訓，每次只能看一個醫生。坐著硬板凳一等就是幾小時，炎炎暑夏自然不用提。

All seems well with our patient except rashes everywhere on her bosom, back, feet, chin and more. Doctor says this is just the beginning. Itching. She has moderate degree of diarrhea, which is normal with Iressa.

病人前胸後背，腳上，下巴都是紅疹子，醫生說這才是開始而已，疹子會越發越多。最近開始拉肚子，據說身體適應了標靶藥 Iressa，會漸漸恢復正常。

We're going to take a MRI this Sat. and Dr. Hsu (許秉權) will read the result next Monday the earliest. This is Eileen's first MRI, three months after brain surgery. Many "what ifs" bubble in our brains. Anxiety built up is for sure. Please remember us in your prayer.

開腦手術快三個月了，週六下午要去照核磁共振。許大夫最早會在下週一通知我們結果。不知會是甚麼樣的情況，難免會緊張一番。請在禱告裡紀念我們。

As Thy Days, So Shall Thy Strength Be 日子如何，力量也必如何

Last Wed. Dr. 邱紹華 gave us a whole week to deliberate to go chemo or target medicine treatment. It wasn't too difficult to come to the decision with target medicine - Iressa when we saw him today at his office.
上星期三邱醫師給我們一個星期的時間決定用傳統的化療或是用最新的標靶治療方式，我們決定用標靶治療的方式。


Our patient will forsake the hell of chemo for the time being and take an easier and supposely better efficacy path. A follow up visit with Dr. 邱 is in 2 weeks, mid of July. Initially, we'll take this a 4 months course and see how it goes.
看完邱醫師的門診後，藹玲已經開始服用標靶治療的藥物，
可以在家中服用藥物，兩週後再去看門診，追蹤觀察，在七月中旬。基本上這個療程需要4個月。到時後再看狀況決定是否需要更多的時間。


Prepare to see Eileen with lots of ACNEs or pimples when I show you her picture next time. This household will soon add one "teenager" girl in addition to the two teenager boys. The side effective of Iressa, so we are told.
下一次將藹玲的照片放在部落格時，會多了很多青春痘。這間房子將會多了一個青春痘美少女，敬請期待！


Pleural effusion remains while our patient gets weary and frigthful at mentioning about being hospitalized again to drain the fluid. Dr. 謝治政 goes easy on her this time cause' he doesn't think the fluid in the chest cavity left from the lung incision is so critical and life threatening. We're hopeful that soon our patient will expand her remaining left lung to fill up the space so as to squeez out the fluid.
這次看診時，胸腔積水並未改善太多，藹玲不願做引流的手術，
謝醫生認為目前狀況並沒有生命危險，所以不一定要做引流的手術，希望藹玲左邊剩餘的肺部可以很快發揮功能，取代被切除的肺部功能，將剩下的積水排出。
Coughing remains and not yet able to swallow her own saliva down rather wipe it out with baby wiper. She consumes 40 boxes of baby wiper paper (more than 6,000 sheets) in a week. Michael has to place a special order for another 120 boxes to be delivered soon.
目前咳嗽的狀況仍然有，藹玲無法將口水吞嚥下去，而是用嬰兒專用紙巾擦除。一週大約要消耗掉40盒紙巾（超過6000張）。
永強已經額外再訂購120盒紙巾了。


She makes progress in snail pace. Sometimes we both get anxious and wonder when one sees the light at the other end of this tunnel of recovery.
藹玲的復原緩慢但持續進步中。有時候永強和藹玲會對復原這漫長的道路有些擔心，何時才能看到那盡頭的亮光呢，請持續以禱告記念。

A Snapshot with Her Hero 她心目中的英雄

What happens to Our Patient Lately... 藹玲近來如何?

Eileen came home for almost two weeks and we went to meet with Dr. 邱，Encologist (胸腔內科)，Dr. 謝 Lung Surgeon (胸腔外科)，Dr. 許, Brain Surgeon (腦神經外科) this past Wed. (June 23rd).

禮拜三，花了一整天的時間看了三位大夫的門診，分別是胸腔內科邱大夫，胸腔外科謝大夫，腦神經外科許大夫。

With the exception of pleural effusion (胸腔積水), she seems to be well on her recovery. For the pleural effusion, Dr. 謝 prescribes deep breathing excersice to expand the lung and Furosemide, Lasix, a drug to expell the fluid. We're prayful that the fluid is cleared by the time we see Dr. 謝 again next Wed. (Jun. 30th). Otherwise, our patient will be admitted to the hospital again to drain the excessive fluid. That sounds very dreary when she has already undergone two major surgeries.

除了胸腔有積水讓人擔心之外，各位都認為藹玲的恢復狀態不錯。至於胸腔積水，謝大夫除了開利尿藥外加囑咐用深呼吸擴張肺葉把積水擠出去。 若無見效，下週謝大夫也許要讓病患再住進醫院進行插管引流。兩次大手術下來，病人早已是談院變色。

Tumor EGFR DNA sequencing comes back confirming mutation. That means she has good chance responding to target medicine treatment (標靶藥物治療), such as Iressa or Tarceva whereas she can skip the morbid torture of chemotherapy. Other than low white blood cell count and many other horrible side effects, the major side effect we hear is acne or pimples. Well, our patient has yet to come out the shadow of two major surgeries and decide if she wants。

基因突變結果肯定藹玲用標靶藥物治療會有效，這樣大可免去化療的身心恐怖和折磨。聽說標靶藥物治療的最主要反應是長青春痘，遠較化療的白血球降低和其他一系列可怕的副作用來得輕。只是我們的病患目前還在兩次大手術的陰影裡，一時還無法決定是要化療還是用標靶藥物。

Where all about this mental stage are stemming from the influcence of Chinese medical belief that the patient's body is too weak to handle anything else now when just survived trauma events of multiple surgery and her energy (氣) is in such a low ebb. We'll see comes next Wed. when we meet Dr. 邱 again.

無非是受中醫理論的影響，兩次大手術下來人的體質太虛，氣傷得太重，病人懷疑不論是化療還是用標靶藥物，自己是否吃得消。下週三，見到邱大夫再決定吧。

During the lung surgery, certain size of tube was inserted through her throat and that somehow hurted her larynx. She has yet to recover with lots of coughing.

切肺時插管，多少傷了喉嚨，目前咳嗽不斷。

Porridge with fish meat and ground beef is her major diet now.

目前靠的是鱸魚和碎牛肉燉粥，維持體力和營養。

Lot changes taking places in her body here and there to adapt. Our patient needs lots of encouragement to be lifted up...

這段時間因放射治療的副作用仍在作怪和兩次手術的療傷，病人蠻辛苦的，請大家在禱告裡紀念她的軟弱。

We're out of Here！ 出院啦！

Dr. Hsieh stops by and tells us that once the drainage tube is unplugged, she can be discharged at anytime. We'll leave the hospital either tomorrow or Sat. There are some family logistic to take care of.

謝大夫來看過，只要胸腔的管子拔掉，病人隨時都可以出院了。待把家中的兩老安排一下，我們大抵明後天就回家了。

The pathological biopsy confirms that lung tumor is the primary one. What a relief!

病理切片確定肺部的腫瘤是原發性的。又一塊石頭落地了。

We'll come back in about two weeks to see Dr. Hsieh as a follow-up and Dr. Chui, an oncologist who will decide if the patient needs chemotherapy or not and if yes, how.

回家兩週後，我們再回來見謝大夫做跟進；同時也看胸腔內科-邱大夫的門診，由他來決定，是否做化療，怎麼做。

Again, thank you for keeping us in your praying vigil and reaching out to us with all sort of helps. May God richly blesses you.

再一次感謝大家用禱告的托住和給予我們一家各式各樣的幫助。求主耶穌用他奇妙的方式親自報答、祝福各位。

Will keep you posted.

Shalom!

平安，下次再會！

Mary 馬莉

Good　News 好消息

1. Mary can't show up in a better time while our patient struggles with bruises from hypodermic neddle punctures. (Can't believe she is a lung cancer patient (stage 3) and at the end of her chemotherapy) 同是肺癌病患的馬莉帶來了及時的問候和安慰
2. Off IV drugs and pain killer today 點滴和止痛的嗎啡一概停了
3. First poo after surgery, very important 上了一號，大事一件

Not So Good Ones 不是太好的事情

1. 
   
   
   Slightly low blood count - 9ish whereas normal value is about 12ish. Blood transfusion is ordered 血紅素略低，九點幾，正常值在十二左右。謝大夫讓輸血
2. 
   
   
   Bruises from hypodermic needle punctures, arms, hands and foot, yet can't get her vein. It hurts so much, our patient cries for mercy and doctor had to puts blood transfusion on hold. Poor girl 手臂手背，連腳也都戳過，紫一塊，青一塊仍是找不到靜脈，痛到求饒，輸血也只能作罷。

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4：15-16

“ 因我們的大祭司並非不能體恤我們的軟弱。他也曾凡事受過試探，與我們一樣，只是他沒有犯罪。所以，我們只管坦然無懼的來到施恩的寶座前，為要得憐恤，蒙恩惠，作隨時的幫助。”希伯來書 4:15-16

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

想到但以理和他的三個朋友不吃王的膳，只吃素菜，喝白水，他們的面貌卻比用王膳的一切少年人更加俊美肥胖。此時此地，除了白粥加醬瓜和白麵包，其他皆無法嚥下的難受，而人人都苦口婆心地勸她要吃高蛋白的食物；一天下來，為了輸血，手臂手背和腳上被針頭戳的紫一塊，青一塊的瘀青還在隱隱作痛時，我們的病患好想像但以理他們一樣，靠白粥加醬瓜和白麵包就可以恢復身體。說著說著，眼淚湧了出來，聲音也哽咽了···

恆仁-我們的主日學老師

恆仁-我們的主日學老師，十分有教導恩賜的弟兄，因公出差到台灣。家庭，教會和工作，足足聊了兩個鐘頭。

She Is Well on Her Way of Recovery 一場虛驚

Except for a little false alarm of last night, our patient is well on her way of recovery. Her lung capacity has reached up to 1,750 ml today whereas that number was 2,000 ml before surgery.


除了昨晚的一場虛驚，我們的病患在穩步的恢復中。今天在呼吸訓練師面前，竟然一口氣能吸到1，750 毫升，術前也不過才 2，000 毫升而已。


Of course, she herself is very much encouraged by the comments and observations by Dr. Hsieh, medical professionals and nurses who come to check her out now and then. She is very motivated to walk and practice all the technics following the instructions by her breathing trainer.


謝大夫，護士們還有進進出出，連筆者也記不清的各式各樣醫護人員都對我們病患的恢復給以肯定。士氣大增的她越加努力地練習呼吸和下床走路。


She starts to eat rice porridges three times today with lots of pickled cucumbers and a slice of bread.


今天三餐吃粥配以個類的醬瓜，外帶一片麵包（吐司)。

One may wonder what is about the false alarm of last night. Well, to lighten up the subject since many a time, it weights heavy in our hearts. Here is what happened Sunday.


關心的人或許會問，到底發生了一場什麼虛驚。大家一直對手術的進程和病人的反應提心吊膽，也該讓各位輕鬆輕鬆了。事情是這樣的：

Within 24 hours of surgery, her feet were on the floor and she started to practice breathing technics, aided by all those breathing apparatus. Everyone saw her was quite positive of the progress she made. However, she was getting anxious and complained that she got short breath, chest tightness and discomfort on left shoulder while she was assured by nurses again and again, those should be temporal and would all go away soon.

我們的主角在術後不到二十四小時就能夠下地行走，練習呼吸。見到的人都給予她肯定和鼓勵。捱過兩次刀的病人，或許一時還無法揮去心有餘悸的陰影，不時地抱怨呼吸短促，胸悶，左肩隱隱作痛，護士們也安慰她這些都會漸漸好起來。

Then the hypodermic needle about her IV drugs shifted stemming from her hand movements,  hence the back of her hand with needle got swollen up. Very bad. The nurse was forced to switch the needle to different arm and then hand after few tries because her vein was the kind hard to spot and nail.

午後，因為手部的不停移動，點滴的針頭跑掉了，右手腫得像個饅頭。護士不得已要換手肘，然後手背，花了一番功夫才又找到一根血管。要找她的靜脈，確實不是一件容易的事。

Starting late afternoon, say around 4:00 PM with aforementioned situations, she hit a panic button that she would be out of breath soon and won't survive the night if doctor didn't do something dramatic. The whole night this writer had to constantly bug the nurse on-duty to comfort her by telling her that she was fine. Then she ran to the bathroom very 15 min. towards the late part of the night so as to divert her attention about the shortness of her breath. Not sure if anyone could decipher this behavior. The tug of war ensued about 8 some hours. At the approach of midnight, either out of exhaustion or tricks to calm her down, Michael together with the nurse draw the last ultimatum by telling her that she shouldn't expect as smooth breathing as Michael whom had a full lung while 1/5 of her lung was gone, and worst came worst, even if she stopped breathing herself the night, the breather hooked up to her nostril would carry her through.


綜合上述情形，下午四時左右，病患開始煩躁不安，不斷反复自言自語又是看護的筆者說，“我沒法呼吸，我想我過不了今晚。我沒法呼吸，我···”不得已，永強要三番五次地求救於護士，不足地安慰她。仍然無濟於事，她用上廁所的方式，讓自己分心，少想一些呼吸的事。如廁的頻率越來越高，到了後段，變成每15分鐘一次。沒人能理解這是什麽一種行為。就這樣前後折騰了八小時之久。接近午夜時，精疲力盡的筆者與當班的護士耐著性子嘗試著最後通牒，“你才切掉了一片肺葉，怎麼可能要求像永強這樣的順暢呼吸。”“即便停止了呼吸，插在鼻孔的呼吸管子可以讓你度過這一夜。”


Not sure what hit her at that moment, the woman seized by some imaginative fears, came to realization she wasn't making sense at all and went back to sleep the rest of the night.

我們的病患像是被點醒了，乖乖地回到床上，一覺睡到天亮。

Otherwise this piece of update would be titled, Sleepless in Veteran Generals Hospital at Taipei. Thanks God, ours is a single room. Imaging what if we had a roommate. Our patient remains a very good girl most of the time nevertheless.

否則這貼報告的題目就成了，"台北榮總不眠夜"。還在我們住的是單人房，試想一下如果住在雙人房，同房的病患和看護會如何反應。但話又說回來，我們的病患人不失為一個模範生。

她叫華妮

An Update 由手術室回到普通病房後···

Our patient came out of surgical ward at around 1:20 PM. Michael was summoned to greet her around 2:30 PM when she regained her conscience. Her mouth was stuck with a breathing tube. She was awake and all her signs were normal. She was slightly pale and a bit weak. Tears on the corner of her eyes, but she couldn't talk.
手術結束後，下午1:20進入恢復室。2：30左右，當藹玲恢復知覺意識時，永強被允許進入看望。病人嘴裡插著呼吸管。臉色略顯蒼白，人顯得無力，其他則無異常。眼角濕濕的，還無法開口。

She spent another four hours in recovery room and they moved her back to her room when nurses were able to pull the tube off her mouth. No ICU.
在恢復室待了四小時後，傍晚6：30左右，她被送回普通病房。這次不須要進入加護病房。

This time she started to talk and little by little raised her voice every time. First she was barely wispering, then hers was audible but coarse. The level of pain killer administered was too strong and caused her headach. Evidently she was very bothered by the headach instead of the pain inflicted from the surgical wound. She was not herself at all and made a lot of fusses until an anethseastic was sent to drop her drug level to half. She then went to sleep almost immediately when Michael left her around 8:15 PM.
由最初細細聲的嘶嘶嗓音到後來顯得微弱但還算清晰的嘶啞聲，她的聲音漸漸地恢復了過來。恢復室的喧鬧讓她術後無法好好休息，加上止痛藥下得有些過量，我們的病患一時情緒焦躁，時而這樣，時而那樣，教兩個服侍她的人無所適從，要不時地求救於護士小姐。直等到來了位麻醉師，把靜脈注射的止痛藥調到一半，片刻內我們的病患安然入睡。到本人離開醫院時已是晚間八點後的事了。

Dr. Hsieh came to check her out briefly and he seemed to be satisfied with the outcome of today's procedure.
這中間，謝大夫來查視過，看來對手術結果蠻滿意的。

She will start to practice breathing and start to walk inside the room tomorrow. Then maybe venture out further the day after tomorrow whereby she is very much encouraged to exercise her lung by walking and breathing what her strength allows. She looks suprisingly good with the appearance of her trademark rosie cheeks and all other vital signs of hers are fine and normal.
明天起就要練習呼吸，開始下床在房內走動。再往下還要走出病房，到走廊裡散步，她需要不斷地加強呼吸訓練和走動，恢復和加強肺功能。她看來氣色很不錯，兩頰的紅暈又泛開了，其他特徵也都很正常。

This Is It! 死陰的幽谷，又過了一關

I was called in to meet with Dr. Hsieh at 12:30 PM, about 4 hours after we parted with Eileen. （12：30PM），He waved me to a small room and motioned me to sit down. There he unfold Eileen's lung wrapped in a green surgical cloth and pointed to me where the tumor is, a whitish tissue about the size of a quarter. (Chuck says "Hyooo!" over the phone) When asked if Eileen is out in recovery room, I was told they're sewing up her surgical wound now and she should be out soon. Everything in about a mintue or so. I assume nothing out of order happened, otherwise I would have different story.

藹玲推入手術室後四小時,透過廣播我被叫進手術室外的一間小會議室，謝大夫示意我坐下，打開手術用的一塊綠色布包，其中是一片病人的肺葉，略大過巴掌。他指給我看一塊約莫10元硬幣大小的白色硬塊組織。當問起手術是否結束，他告訴我目前正在縫傷口，隨後便離開，這前後也不過一分鐘的時間。想來一切應該正常，否則現在寫出來的內容絕非如此。

An emphatic YES! It's a great relief indeed.

不能不說，心裡的一塊大石頭掉了下來。

"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to [a] those he loves." Psalm 127:1-2 

“若不是耶和華建造房屋，建造的人就枉然勞力；若不是耶和華看守城池，看守的人就枉然警醒。你們清晨早起，夜晚安歇，吃勞碌得來的飯，本是枉然；惟有耶和華所親愛的，必叫他安然睡覺。”詩篇127：1-2

My song at this moment.  這是本人此時的感受。


Thanks Be to Our God. Thank Dr. Hsieh and his team. Thank you all of your sustenant prayer.

感謝神。感謝謝大夫和他的團隊。感謝各方用禱告的托住。